If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
