I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
