i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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