Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
