My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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