New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
