WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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