After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
