I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
