Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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