Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
