Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
