I wannas sexs uuuuu
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
