I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's get the cat blown out
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize