Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
