just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize