Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
