Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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