it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
