Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
