What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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