just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
