McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
