He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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