Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
