idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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