it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
