I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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