also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish you could order shots online.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
