Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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