i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
