My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
