The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
