But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just pee around me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
