so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She bit a glass in half.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm too high and old for this...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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