Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
