What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
