Kiss
Puke
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
