don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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