I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
