genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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