I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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