Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize