I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
