OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
