She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
