if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
