im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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