This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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