dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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