he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
