I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
