Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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