PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
