DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
